Tag: Happy Notes

Posted in Happy Notes, Managing Mental Health, positivity

100 Good Things in The World

Posted on by Millie :)

I’ve made a previous post on reasons to stay alive, which you can read here, but I wanted to create another list of good things in the world. It’s like a list of reasons to live, but also a list of reasons to be grateful (a very important practice in my life), and a list of reminders to see the little good things in life when things get rough or stressful. Use this list to find a moment of pause in your day to connect with some peace, and let yourself connect with the goodness in this world. There’s a lot of issues and sadness, and we can’t ignore that, but sometimes we do need a moment to escape the pressure. 

  1. Potatoes – they can be cooked in so many different ways!
  2. The smell of the air after it’s rained 
  3. Crunchy leaves 
  4. Handwritten letters 
  5. Listening to the sound of the sea in seashells 
  6. Chameleons – they literally change colour, that’s insane!
  7. The amazing activists and advocates trying to create a better world for us full of hope 
  8. The internet. It’s really quite incredible if you stop to think about it
  9. Video calls allowing us to see each other and connect from afar 
  10. Really soft fluffy blankets 
  11. All the different kinds of music and how all of us can find different pieces beautiful 
  12. Board games 
  13. Deck of cards – how many different games and tricks you can do, and how they’re unlikely to ever be in the same order!
  14. Snow under your feet 
  15. Sledding down a hill 
  16. Laughing until your belly hurts 
  17. Hats.
  18. The northern lights – they’re like magic!
  19. How many different languages exist 
  20. The top of ice cream before anyone takes a scoop 
  21. Really cold water on a hot day 
  22. A cat’s purring 
  23. Bluetooth 
  24. The smell of old books 
  25. The smell of new books 
  26. The smell of freshly mown grass 
  27. The smell of freshly baked bread 
  28. Pretty sparklers and fairy lights 
  29. The Fibonacci sequence 
  30. Those random acts of kindness from a stranger that brighten a day – like letting you go first in line, offering a tissue, holding a door 
  31. Dogs little paws and toe beans 
  32. Bubbles 
  33. How many different flowers there are! 
  34. The miracle of ecosystems in nature 
  35. The feeling of floating in the sea 
  36. Building sandcastles 
  37. Clouds at sunset when the light illuminates them 
  38. Hugs
  39. The amazing scientific advancements being made every day 
  40. Shooting stars 
  41. Book clubs (or any kind of community club, it’s so lovely to get together over a shared love and interest) 
  42. Amateur dramatic theatre – it’s totally about doing what you love together, no other reason! 
  43. Magnets (just so fun to play with and the science is actually very cool)
  44. Charity shops and thrift stores
  45. People sharing their knowledge and encouragement on the internet 
  46. Pillow fights 
  47. Water fights (why stop doing the things you loved as a kid just because you’ve gotten older) 
  48. Electricity
  49. Beautiful trees 
  50. Daisies close up at night like they’re going to sleep
  51. Sunflowers turn to face the sun 
  52. The colours of leaves changing in autumn
  53. Teddy bears 
  54. The infinity of imagination 
  55. Community gardens 
  56. People being brave enough to live their truth and share their stories every day even though it may be dangerous or stigmatised 
  57. Libraries (they offer the gift of reading to so many more people)
  58. The word ‘serendipity’
  59. Public transport linking us easier 
  60. Funky hair dyes (and the amazing things people do with them)
  61. Fidget toys and logic puzzles 
  62. Hilarious movies we can bond over and laugh at 
  63. Free education (hopefully one day equal and free education will be available to all)
  64. Poetry that reflects our own experiences and feelings 
  65. Funny animal videos 
  66. Free guided meditation videos 
  67. Peer support groups 
  68. Smiles 
  69. So much art and creativity in so many different forms that connects us, reflects and shapes culture, and inspires 
  70. Calculators you can type rude words on 
  71. AAC communication devices allowing nonverbal people to communicate easier 
  72. Medical and emotional assistance animals 
  73. Hot chocolate (or your other favourite warm drink)
  74. Colour changing lights, they are so cool 
  75. Written letters 
  76. Messages of kindness from strangers posted online or scrawled in public everyday 
  77. Blue tac 
  78. Glasses and hearing aids – imagine what it was like before we had them!
  79. Apps for so many different things, making knowledge and the world more accessible for many
  80. Woodland walks 
  81. Friendships
  82. Love is all around us in so many different forms
  83. Dad jokes 
  84. People donate blood to save others every day 
  85. Audiobooks making reading more accessible 
  86. Picnics
  87. Pizza – circle shape, in a square box, cut into triangles 
  88. Alcohol-free alternatives 
  89. Fluffy socks
  90. Showing gratitude 
  91. Bird song in the morning
  92. Finding a penny on the ground
  93. Running through sprinklers 
  94. Feeling of popping bubble wrap 
  95. Hearing a song you used to love and had forgotten about \
  96. Seeing an old friend for the first time in a while and picking up like you only saw them yesterday 
  97. When you have a really cool dream and you can remember it when you wake up 
  98. Eating breakfast food at night or dinner food in the morning 
  99. That cosy feeling when it’s rainy outside but you’re warm inside 
  100. There’s always more tomorrows
Posted in Managing Mental Health, Mental Health

How to Support Someone With Mental Health Issues

Posted on by Millie :)

It can be extremely hard to watch someone you love and care about going through a tough time regarding their mental health. It can also be painful if someone close to you discloses their mental illness or mental health struggles and you had no idea about it. You may feel like a failure yourself, like there’s nothing you can do, like you are useless. Essentially it may start to impact your mental health as well. That’s why the most important thing to remember when supporting someone with mental health issues is that you need to look after yourself as well. You have to.

1. Look after yourself

Sometimes we want to rush in and save the whole world – fix everything – but this simply isn’t possible. Perhaps at first it may seem like a good idea to try and take on the other person’s issues entirely as your own, without giving yourself the space needed to process your own emotions. In fact for a short while this may actually help the other person – but that’s not sustainable; long term it will lead to you burning out, struggling yourself or becoming resentful, likely making the entire situation worse. That’s why it’s so important to look after yourself, even if this is just journaling at the end of the day to help you sort out the feelings of the day, or doing a hobby once a week, the possibilities are limitless and you have to find what works for you. The important thing is that you do find it. And putting in boundaries with the person you are supporting can also help this, and most likely will help them in the long run too.

2. Listen to them

Many people with mental health issues, especially when they are first opening up about them, doubt themselves, feel ashamed or invalidated. By listening to them with an open mind you can help lessen these feelings. And by listening, I mean just that. Not everyone wants (nor even needs) advice or solutions all the time, sometimes they just need to be heard so they feel a little less alone. When having a conversation about their emotions/ experience it can be really helpful to ask the question ‘would you like me to offer advice or just listen to you?’. Validating their experience through listening to them can have a huge impact for someone struggling and give them confidence and reassurance. Remember that they are the one that lives in their brain, and they know what they are going through better than anyone else; it’s not your job to dictate to them what they are undergoing. However, linking to my last point, it is important that you don’t take on all of their feelings for yourself, so placing boundaries can be really helpful – for example requesting that before they talk to you, they ask you if you are in a place to have that conversation.

3. Involve them

Going through a tough time mentally can feel very isolating, and our brains can make us feel very lonely and rejected. That’s why it’s important to continue to involve someone who is struggling mentally. This could mean continuing to invite them to social events while making clear there is no pressure or expectations placed upon them to attend. If they accept and invitation, it might then mean making some accommodations for them, like helping them order food if that’s a point of anxiety for them or giving them some space if they need it for example. It might also mean offering to meet them one on one for a while if that’s easier for them, or talking with them about plans to keep them safe and checking in with them regularly. To relate to my last point, if you’re unsure of what to do, you can always ask them if they have any ideas or if there’s a way you can accommodate them better. This is a huge sign that you care for and accept them still.

4. Research their experience

If the person you are supporting has a diagnosis or has disclosed to you specific symptoms, it can be helpful for your own knowledge to research this. A quick google search will bring up symptoms lists and examples of how these might affect them, but I would also encourage you to look beyond this and read up on the personal experience of different people from different walks of life to get a clearer picture. This can help you understand the person you are supporting better without the worry that you are prying to much, and it can help them to feel seen as this informs how you support them.

5. Make them a happy kit

I’ve made a previous post on this, which you can read here. A happy kit is essentially a little collection of things that can help someone process their emotions, get through a crisis moment, or just generally cheer them up. It can include some things that they find calming or cheering, and maybe a list of distractions and mini coping exercises to try. Distractions are also a really great way to help someone with a mental health issue – it’s not a long term fix but it can help them escape their brain for a minute and feel more ready to face the day. If a distraction is creative it could also be a way of helping them to express themselves, and feel less alone if you’re doing it together.

6. Help with small tasks

Small tasks such as cleaning, ordering food, or remembering deadlines can become seemingly impossible for someone experiencing a mental health struggle. If you feel up to it you can offer to help them with these small tasks, even if that’s just by doing it with them (for example cleaning together one afternoon, or going food shopping together). As always, asking them how best to help is always a good idea, and if they’re not sure offering something specific – such as sending them a reminder text – might appeal to them.

7. Show them you care

It’s simple, but one of the most helpful and meaningful things anyone has ever done for me during my own struggles has been showing me they cared. This could mean writing someone a supportive letter, or making them a playlist. Just something simple that lets them know you care.

7. Be patient

We all have mental health and it can be a long term challenge to face for many. Someone in the midsts of a struggle isn’t going to overcome it overnight, but with amazing people like you willing to support them, they can find their way through. Keep in mind that you need to be patient – one of the reasons why looking after yourself is so important – and that their struggles are not a comment on you, ever. Eventually the sun will come shining through!

Posted in Happy Notes, Notes

Random Acts of Kindness

Posted on by Millie :)

Kindness is something intangible, and yet it is very real and very powerful. In the Cambridge dictionary kindness is defined as ‘the quality of being generous, helpful, and caring about other people, or an act showing this quality’. If we think back on our lives I’m sure we can think on many moments where people have shown us kindness. Sometimes a seemingly small or insignificant act of kindness can have the greatest impact – for example someone helping someone else carry a bag on a particularly bad day could remind them that there is good in the world and prevent them from spiralling into a worse place mentally. And sometimes it’s the grand gestures of kindness over a long period of time that make an impact on us – for me the fact that my friends never gave up on me during the dark times is one the greatest acts of kindness that I have ever experienced. The point is, what we qualify as a kind act may be vary for each of us, but the underlying caring and generosity always helps to brighten up the world and our lives.

Back in November I posted on my Instagram about a 30 day random acts of kindness challenge. The idea behind it was to inspire myself and others to think about doing something small but kind once a day in order to be more mindful about how we can make a positive impact on the people and world around us. Why? I believe that when we put good energy out there, it spreads – a bit of a butterfly effect if you will – and it goes beyond the original act of kindness. Also, as someone who struggles with their mental health I know that being kind can have a profound effect on how I feel; it makes me feel better about myself and also helps to get me out of the cycle of my thoughts. But don’t forget you can also show yourself kindness, in many forms, and that is just as important. It helps us to be able to function better and feel better and do even more for others.

So here’s a list of 31 random acts of kindness. I would encourage you to try one out, or make it a challenge to do one a day for the next 31 days! Please comment below with any more ideas or stories of how someone else has helped you out:

  1. Tell someone you appreciate them
  2. Sign a petition for a cause you care about
  3. Say hello to someone and ask how they are
  4. Donate old clothes to a charity store
  5. Hold the door for someone
  6. Bake or cook something and give it to someone – a neighbour, family member, coworker
  7. Give three honest compliments
  8. Write a happy note and leave it for someone to find/ post it online (use #ourhappynotes)
  9. Comment something positive on a post
  10. Make/ hang some bird feeders
  11. Leave a thank you note for your mail carrier or another civil worker who does a lot for you
  12. Buy some food for a food bank
  13. Smile at someone
  14. When you’re going on an errand, ask a neighbour/ friend if they need you to do anything for them
  15. Share a post about an issue you care about
  16. Write some positive messages on the pavement with chalk
  17. Leave a bit of change in a vending machine
  18. Bring some food to a homeless person
  19. Wear your mask with vigilance if you can – this one should be some every day!
  20. Support a small local business, either with money or by leaving a positive review/ following them online
  21. Spend the day trying to be kind to yourself – listening to what you need, letting your emotions be, relaxing etc
  22. Do a chore that someone else would usually do
  23. Plant something
  24. Have a complaint free day
  25. Send a letter to an elderly person
  26. Read an article to educate yourself on an issue
  27. Encourage someone
  28. Check in on your friends
  29. Write to your MP/ representative about something you feel needs attention
  30. Let someone go ahead of you in line
  31. Brainstorm more ideas for kindness and how you can incorporate it into your everyday life

Let’s spread some sparkly, shiny, generous energy in the world! Sending all my love and support,

Millie xx

Posted in Advocacy, Happy Notes, Mental Health, Notes, Personal Growth

What is positivity?

Posted on by Millie :)

This post is inspired by I note I made for my Instagram – @our.happy.notes – which read: ‘For me being positive doesn’t mean being happy or positive all the time, it means allowing myself to appreciate the moments that I do feel positive, and allowing the possibility of hope to exist’. I wrote it because being the inquisitive person I am and being active on social media brought the thought into my mind – what is positivity? What does positivity mean to me?

I’m a person that tends to find myself living in extremes. There either is or there isn’t. I am all or nothing. So with positivity and a mood disorder, I found that I either lived in a state of overwhelming optimist or complete lack of any positive thought at all. What I have found interesting, and beneficial to my mental health, is exploring the space in between. The idea that even in positive moments I can accept that it won’t last forever, and in the times where I lack such I can acknowledge that it doesn’t mean that positivity has disappeared.

I think sometimes even in well meaning spaces, there can be such a pressure to be positive and see the good in life. Unfortunately this simply isn’t possible all of the time, and when we put pressure on ourselves to feel one way or the other it can lead to us feeling even worse. The reality of the situation is that all emotions on the spectrum are valid. Yet the lack of positivity or hope in one moment does not mean it will never return; that it has ceased to exist. Nowadays this is something I like to remind myself – writing it out helps me to absorb it.

So, what is positivity to me? Positivity is not the blind belief in a bright future, but the acceptance of the fact that a bright future could exist. It is allowing the possibility of a good day for someone else happening, even if it isn’t for me. It is embracing the small, joyful things in life – the most minute parts of the world that make me a little less down, even if only for a moment. It is an intangible thing, an emotion, an idea – a beautiful prospect.

However I recognise that in moments we really can want to increase our positive thoughts and feelings in life. I am no expert on this, though I do have some tools that have helped me. In the morning I write down affirmations for the day – ‘Today can be a good day’, ‘I am enough’, etc. In the evening I write a gratitude list – ‘I have a roof over my head’, ‘someone smiled at me in the street’. I list the small things in life that bring me joy. I allow myself to dream wildly, but remind myself that whether or not these dreams materialise, I will be ok. I smile; sometimes I simply sit there and I smile. And when I feel that positivity is disappearing, that hope is waning, I repeat aloud and write on paper that they are not gone forever. These might seem a little silly, but they are some of the most healing things toward my mental health.

Sending love and support to anyone who needs it today!

Love, Millie x