Notes – Our Happy Notes

22:47, A Poem

Posted on February 20, 2023 by Millie :)

You may or may not know this about me already, but aside from being a mental health advocate, I am also a very creative person. My biggest passion in life is theatre, and I adore all forms of creativity from writing poetry to banging pots and pans together to make a beat. I think that my passion for advocacy and my creativity go perfectly hand in hand, as does creativity and mental health recovery. So I thought today I’d try something a little different and post one of my poems that relates to my mental health journey. I only write poetry when I’m feeling an emotion intensely – whatever that may be. I find it the perfect form of writing for expressing deep and complex emotions or experiences. So here’s a little piece of my journey that I wrote about a year ago; a look into my heart. I hope you like it, please do let me know in the comments. Sending love and support to you all today!

22:47 – Letters to Friends

I have mismatched smiles

And unsettled expressions

I have tears that come unwarranted

-for most-

But perfectly

For me,

Though sometimes I may pretend they don’t

Till even I forget my tears are full of worth,

And most dangerous of masks

Are the ones we do not realise we wear.

So when your breath catches

Just above the safe tide mark,

When your ears hear the words

They want

So your mind can steal you

For your fears,

When everything is right, balanced in unbalanced juxtaposition, when it is perfect,

And so then it is wrong,

And when all you yearn for is to rest,

But all you can do is run,

How then do you tell them you are grateful?

How do you show

When you can’t feel,

And words will do no justice, of course they won’t, because the crooked smiles and the disorganised tone of voice will give away the

Fear?

Is it fear?

Or is it acceptance? That you are not, and cannot, but you belong in the silence between them.

Maybe you don’t. Maybe you can’t tell them.

Maybe it’s enough

That you know

And that you be

As you are

Until what you are is something new,

And you can glance at what was,

Content.

Happy Notes, Notes

Random Acts of Kindness

Posted on April 8, 2021August 10, 2021 by Millie :)

Kindness is something intangible, and yet it is very real and very powerful. In the Cambridge dictionary kindness is defined as ‘the quality of being generous, helpful, and caring about other people, or an act showing this quality’. If we think back on our lives I’m sure we can think on many moments where people have shown us kindness. Sometimes a seemingly small or insignificant act of kindness can have the greatest impact – for example someone helping someone else carry a bag on a particularly bad day could remind them that there is good in the world and prevent them from spiralling into a worse place mentally. And sometimes it’s the grand gestures of kindness over a long period of time that make an impact on us – for me the fact that my friends never gave up on me during the dark times is one the greatest acts of kindness that I have ever experienced. The point is, what we qualify as a kind act may be vary for each of us, but the underlying caring and generosity always helps to brighten up the world and our lives.

Back in November I posted on my Instagram about a 30 day random acts of kindness challenge. The idea behind it was to inspire myself and others to think about doing something small but kind once a day in order to be more mindful about how we can make a positive impact on the people and world around us. Why? I believe that when we put good energy out there, it spreads – a bit of a butterfly effect if you will – and it goes beyond the original act of kindness. Also, as someone who struggles with their mental health I know that being kind can have a profound effect on how I feel; it makes me feel better about myself and also helps to get me out of the cycle of my thoughts. But don’t forget you can also show yourself kindness, in many forms, and that is just as important. It helps us to be able to function better and feel better and do even more for others.

So here’s a list of 31 random acts of kindness. I would encourage you to try one out, or make it a challenge to do one a day for the next 31 days! Please comment below with any more ideas or stories of how someone else has helped you out:

Tell someone you appreciate them
Sign a petition for a cause you care about
Say hello to someone and ask how they are
Donate old clothes to a charity store
Hold the door for someone
Bake or cook something and give it to someone – a neighbour, family member, coworker
Give three honest compliments
Write a happy note and leave it for someone to find/ post it online (use #ourhappynotes)
Comment something positive on a post
Make/ hang some bird feeders
Leave a thank you note for your mail carrier or another civil worker who does a lot for you
Buy some food for a food bank
Smile at someone
When you’re going on an errand, ask a neighbour/ friend if they need you to do anything for them
Share a post about an issue you care about
Write some positive messages on the pavement with chalk
Leave a bit of change in a vending machine
Bring some food to a homeless person
Wear your mask with vigilance if you can – this one should be some every day!
Support a small local business, either with money or by leaving a positive review/ following them online
Spend the day trying to be kind to yourself – listening to what you need, letting your emotions be, relaxing etc
Do a chore that someone else would usually do
Plant something
Have a complaint free day
Send a letter to an elderly person
Read an article to educate yourself on an issue
Encourage someone
Check in on your friends
Write to your MP/ representative about something you feel needs attention
Let someone go ahead of you in line
Brainstorm more ideas for kindness and how you can incorporate it into your everyday life

Let’s spread some sparkly, shiny, generous energy in the world! Sending all my love and support,

Millie xx

Notes

It Doesn’t Have to be a Merry Christmas

Posted on December 25, 2020 by Millie :)

There is a lot of pressure put on the holidays of what they should be and feel like – they must be joyous and magical and a time for family. But the thing is, we can’t force happiness, and many people don’t have a traditional family setup. This year more than any other year the majority of people have had to adjust to a new way of doing the holidays, and that’s not easy. And for many people with mental health issues this is even harder, on top of the holidays often being a challenging time – for example with food relationships. So here’s a very short reminder that it doesn’t have to be a Merry Christmas, and a few affirmations to, hopefully, brighten up your day if you are struggling:

You deserve space if that’s what you need; your needs are worthy and important, even at Christmas
You are not alone, even if you feel it
Comparison can bring a lot of negative feelings to us, so remember that you don’t need to do it
You deserve to eat. Your body is an incredible thing, but you are so much more than it
It’s ok not to be ok
Your feelings are valid
This won’t last forever
You are so strong
You are so brave
You are magical
There is always good in the bad

I hope that all of you have the best time you can. Sending you all love and support this Christmas xx

Advocacy, Happy Notes, Mental Health, Notes, Personal Growth

What is positivity?

Posted on December 18, 2020 by Millie :)

This post is inspired by I note I made for my Instagram – @our.happy.notes – which read: ‘For me being positive doesn’t mean being happy or positive all the time, it means allowing myself to appreciate the moments that I do feel positive, and allowing the possibility of hope to exist’. I wrote it because being the inquisitive person I am and being active on social media brought the thought into my mind – what is positivity? What does positivity mean to me?

I’m a person that tends to find myself living in extremes. There either is or there isn’t. I am all or nothing. So with positivity and a mood disorder, I found that I either lived in a state of overwhelming optimist or complete lack of any positive thought at all. What I have found interesting, and beneficial to my mental health, is exploring the space in between. The idea that even in positive moments I can accept that it won’t last forever, and in the times where I lack such I can acknowledge that it doesn’t mean that positivity has disappeared.

I think sometimes even in well meaning spaces, there can be such a pressure to be positive and see the good in life. Unfortunately this simply isn’t possible all of the time, and when we put pressure on ourselves to feel one way or the other it can lead to us feeling even worse. The reality of the situation is that all emotions on the spectrum are valid. Yet the lack of positivity or hope in one moment does not mean it will never return; that it has ceased to exist. Nowadays this is something I like to remind myself – writing it out helps me to absorb it.

So, what is positivity to me? Positivity is not the blind belief in a bright future, but the acceptance of the fact that a bright future could exist. It is allowing the possibility of a good day for someone else happening, even if it isn’t for me. It is embracing the small, joyful things in life – the most minute parts of the world that make me a little less down, even if only for a moment. It is an intangible thing, an emotion, an idea – a beautiful prospect.

However I recognise that in moments we really can want to increase our positive thoughts and feelings in life. I am no expert on this, though I do have some tools that have helped me. In the morning I write down affirmations for the day – ‘Today can be a good day’, ‘I am enough’, etc. In the evening I write a gratitude list – ‘I have a roof over my head’, ‘someone smiled at me in the street’. I list the small things in life that bring me joy. I allow myself to dream wildly, but remind myself that whether or not these dreams materialise, I will be ok. I smile; sometimes I simply sit there and I smile. And when I feel that positivity is disappearing, that hope is waning, I repeat aloud and write on paper that they are not gone forever. These might seem a little silly, but they are some of the most healing things toward my mental health.

Sending love and support to anyone who needs it today!

Love, Millie x