Posted in Managing Mental Health, Mental Health, positivity

Identity in Mental Illness

As an autistic person with mental illnesses sometimes it can be hard to figure out who I am.

If you have diagnoses you might feel like you have to split up parts of yourself and your actions into boxes, like this part of you is autism and that part of you is anxiety, for example.

Or you might feel like your whole identity is your diagnoses.

Even without a diagnosis you might feel like parts of you are defined by the way you feel, split up and separate.

This can make us feel like we have to be ashamed of these parts of ourselves or like we are not really whole. It can be confusing to know who we are and find our identity in the midst of it all.

Then you add in other identity factors like sexuality, gender, and race which in many cases can complicate our mental health and understanding of ourselves even further – especially because it impacts how others see us, and this is even more prevalent for minority identities.

Rather than trying to see ourselves as a selection of different parts and separate ourselves into these parts, maybe we can start to think of it more like colours blended together and filters on the image of who we are.

Like my anxiety is red and it bleeds into my passion for theatre which is blue. They mix to create a purple in the middle, and that’s where stage fright lives. But all the colours are a part of me, blending together to make me who I am.

And my autism is a filter with a yellow tinge and that does affect how I view and interact with the whole world, but it isn’t my whole identity, nor is it separate to every other part of me. They all work together in different ways to make me who I am.

At the end of the day, you don’t have to have everything figured out about your life and who you are. No one does. It’s a journey and an ongoing process which can be really scary to think about. But it’s actually pretty amazing, all these colours that make up the rainbow of you, changing and growing each day. Remember – no one but you gets to define who you are; your identity is personal and you don’t owe it to anyone else, nor do you need to define who you are! 

But you are wonderfully unique, allowed to take up space, and your rainbow is so much more than you could ever imagine.

Posted in Happy Notes, positivity

50 Compliments That Are Not Appearance Based

I know personally that it can feel a bit awkward to give or receive compliments, the protocol on when to compliment someone and how to react is a bit confusing to me. But I also like to imagine a society in which complimenting people was a more normal thing to do; where being open about how we feel (including our positive feelings towards others – complimenting them) was encouraged and normalised. However much of the time when we do compliment people it is appearance based. This is difficult because it can sometimes reduce someone to their appearance, which they don’t always have control over, and looks past who they are as a person and what they mean in our lives – especially when it’s to do with their body and not the way they dress (something they may use as a form of expression) for example. So I’ve put together a list of 50 compliments and open statements that are not appearance based. My challenge to you is to compliment at least one person a day for the next week on something other than their appearance. Let me know how it goes and any other ideas for compliments in the comments below!

  1. You make me smile 
  2. You’re funny 
  3. You make me happy 
  4. You’re kind 
  5. You make me feel safe 
  6. You glow 
  7. Your sensitivity is so strong 
  8. I appreciate you 
  9. You inspire me 
  10. You’re so strong 
  11. I admire your work ethic 
  12. You mean a lot to me 
  13. I love your honesty 
  14. You have a great mindset 
  15. You’re so brave
  16. You’re so loving 
  17. You’re are worthy 
  18. I am comfortable around you 
  19. You did great today 
  20. You are a warm person 
  21. You’re so understanding 
  22. You are a good listener 
  23. You are really insightful 
  24. You always care 
  25. You’re wonderfully unique 
  26. You are perfect exactly as you are 
  27. I wish more people were like you 
  28. I respect you 
  29. I trust you 
  30. I’m so happy you’re in my life 
  31. You’ve flourished as a person 
  32. You make a difference 
  33. You’re becoming even more amazing – and I didn’t think that was possible
  34. Your personality lights up the room 
  35. You deserve good things 
  36. You’re great at giving advice 
  37. I love how passionate you are about (blank)
  38. I love your imagination 
  39. You matter to me
  40. I love being around you 
  41. I love how confident you are 
  42. You make people feel important 
  43. I respect your integrity 
  44. You are a generous person
  45. You’re have an open heart 
  46. You are on your perfect path 
  47. I’m proud of you 
  48. Your ideas/ beliefs matter 
  49. Your happiness is infectious 
  50. You are a great leader