autistic women – Our Happy Notes

Non-Canonical Autistic Characters

Posted on March 24, 2023March 24, 2023 by Millie :)

Ok so this is actually a list of characters that I have decided are autistic/ neurodiverse – not actual canonically autistic characters. In fact the only media representation of a canonically autistic character I have ever seen is Sam in Atypical – and I really struggled with this series. The only book I’ve read with an autistic character is The Curious Incident of a Dog in the Nighttime. To this day I have never – I repeat, NEVER – read a book or come across a media representation of a canonically autistic character who is female or gender diverse. Ever. I only realised that two days ago while thinking about this post and it made me really sad. In many ways I feel the media is moving forwards, and I do not feel I lack autistic representation in my life because I have had the privilege to be able to actively seek that out online. But to have never come across an autistic girl in the media I consume? I’ve heard there is an autistic character in Heartstopper so I will have to give that a watch soon. I’ve realised how much I want to consume content with autistic characters, so for the first time I think I’m going to actively seek that out.

But anyway, what’s the point of this? What’s the point of calling characters autistic? Well, in part for fun. This is simply my opinion and not a critical analysis of any of these characters. But also for representation, in a non-direct way. Resonating with fictional characters and relating to the world through them is a huge part of my neurodiverse experience, so if I can see myself in them a little more by calling them autistic, it’s really comforting. And finally also to raise a little awareness of an ongoing trend of creating autistically coded characters (characters with clear neurodiverse traits) without calling them autistic. It lends itself to another ongoing trend where people love the quirky characters on screen or in books – they even seem to worship them – but in real life people with the same traits are bullied and left behind. Recognising that I, as an autistic person, resonate with neurodiverse traits of characters begs two questions: 1 – Why aren’t characters called autistic? Perhaps because people are afraid to relate too closely to neurodiversity, it threatens them; 2 – Why do we celebrate difference in fiction but create intolerance to it in reality?

With that being said, here are some character I (and other autistics) have decided are autistic:

Sheldon Cooper – The Big Bang Theory and Young Sheldon

The fact that the creators refused to admit Sheldon is autistic (like literally entirely based on autistic traits and stereotypes) is a source of great frustration – though it may be because they wouldn’t be able to make fun of him in the same way if he was autistic. But nonetheless, I really love seeing some of my traits on a big screen, especially in Young Sheldon, which at times seems to mirror my own childhood experiences exactly. Though it should be noted that autism is so much more complex and varied than the representation of Sheldon (and other similar characters like in Rainman).

Some of his autistic traits include:

Sensory sensitivity (sound, taste, smell)
Different speech and intonation patterns
Love of routine
Difficulty dealing with change
Lacking social skills
Hyperfixations and special interests
The list is literally endless

Wednesday Addams – Wednesday

I mean the character of Wednesday is overall very neurodiverse, but the recent representation in Wednesday on Netflix was really relatable for a lot of autistic people.

Some autistic traits include:

Monotone speech
Less facial expressions
Different way of moving (the iconic dance scene)
Sensory sensitivities (allergic to colour)
Bluntness
Difficulty interpreting others emotions – ‘It’s not my fault I can’t interpret your emotional morse code’
Strong sense of justice

Matilda – Matilda

I have always been obsessed with Matilda, and that’s probably at the core of why I see her as a neurodiverse character. I think I’ve read the book more than any other book (including in Spanish) and I’ve seen the musical more than any other show. I love it. As a kid I would spend hours staring at objects trying to get them to move with my mind, and I feel as though I’ve had my own ‘Miss Honey(s)’ in my life too.

Some of Matilda’s autistic traits include:

Strong sense of justice
The loudness in her head and different way of perceiving the world (‘But I wonder if inside my head/ I’m not just a bit different from some of my friends […] And when everyone shouts / Like they seem to like shouting/ The noise in my head is incredibly loud’)
Different from her peers and family
Hyperlexia (can read very well very early)
Special interests (reading)
Direct way of communicating
Sensory sensitivity – to Ms Trunchbull’s shouting and the TV for example

Hermione – Harry Potter

Mentioning Harry Potter can seem a bit of a tightrope walk nowadays, but it was a very important part of my childhood and forms part of who I am today. That being said, trans women are women – always have been, always will be. So let’s reclaim the narrative further and say that Hermione is autistic! I was so obsessed with Hermione that all the new clothes I bought at 12 were based on her costumes. She was super smart and didn’t let others put her down because of it, and as someone who was often ‘ahead’ in school this was so comforting to see. Also Luna Lovegood is 100% autistic as well and I love her.

Some autistic traits:

Strong sense of justice
Sensory sensitivity – notices details others miss
Lacks social skills (at least in first few books) and skips social niceties
Special interests and hyperfixations (intense devotion to studying)
Obsession with learning and following the rules
Hyperlexia

Phoebe – Friends

Another one of my comfort shows, I have watched Friends more times than I can count. And the more I’ve watched it, the more I’ve related to and appreciated Phoebe’s character. Watching it again after being diagnosed was really interesting because I remember wondering for the first time about how Phoebe was showing a load of those traits I had just been asked about in my assessment. I’m not convinced she’s autistic, maybe ADHD or something else – but she is definitely neurodiverse. 100%.

Neurodiverse traits:

Doesn’t care about social niceties (will just leave or say she doesn’t want to do something)
Unique fashion sense
Sensory sensitivity (she can hear music and voices and feel spirits etc, I’m putting this under sensory sensitivity, maybe it’s an extra sense)
Special interests – guitar
Different way of communicating
Moves her hands in different ways
Wandering thoughts
Hyper empathy
Strong beliefs that don’t bend to social expectations

So there’s five there. Is that representation good enough? No, because it’s not really a representation. Is it a bit comforting to think about, personally? Yeah, it is. Can we do better? Yeah, we can. A lot. I’m not looking for a whole series about autistic experiences. But I’d like to see myself in the media occasionally, because there’s a lot of autistic people here in the world. Just for already autistically coded characters to maybe have a moment of recognition on screen, a single mention of it, would be huge. If I – a privileged, white, verbal, cis autistic woman – haven’t seen myself represented yet, how long will it be before we start seeing the Black autistics, non-verbal autistics, physically disabled autistics represented? It might seem like a little thing if you have seen yourself on screen and in books all your life, but it can have such a huge impact. I remember crying the first time I read a book with a gay woman. It meant I wasn’t alone. I enjoy a lot of the media I consume, because I can relate to lots of different people with lots of different experiences, and I can enjoy media I don’t directly relate to. So why are people so afraid to relate to us once in a while instead?

Thanks for reading! Sending all my love and support today xxx

Letter To A Younger Me

Posted on March 10, 2023 by Millie :)

Hey sweetie,

I’m writing you this letter because you’ve been on my mind a lot lately. And the thing is, I know you won’t actually read it, you can’t, I can’t actually travel back and give it to you. So there’s no real point in me giving you advice; any advice I do write is, I suppose, more of a reminder for me now – born from the gifts you gave me just by keeping going. Yeah, this letter isn’t really for you. It’s for me now, or us now. To heal a little bit and reflect in a way that doesn’t consume us back to where you are. If that makes any sense?

I want to comfort you. I want to hug you, hold you tight, and whisper ‘I’ve got you’. Which is something to remember when you feel like the worst person ever, because eventually we’re able to look back and show ourselves compassion. I know it hurts. And I know you feel really lonely, I know.

I think I’m writing this to you at about age 13, maybe just turned 14. Right as all the mental health stuff really took off, and before you’d gone through enough of it to have any perspective on it. It was all new and you had no reason to think it wouldn’t last forever. But, hey, spoiler alert – it doesn’t last forever. I won’t lie to you, it does get worse. And then maybe worse again. And again. But there’s this magic process you haven’t come across yet, where even though in some ways it gets worse, it never feels quite as bad as that very first time. Because you’re growing and learning and after you survive it once you always know, deep down inside of you, that you’re going to survive it again. And you’re going to learn all these little skills – and big skills! – that help you get through. You’re going to be ok. Maybe not always, but you are going to be ok.

I would say please don’t drink, but if you’re 13/14 it’s already too late for that. So I’ll say this instead: you know how you always knew, from when you were really little, that you didn’t want to drink? And you were adamant that you never would, and you always thought if you did it wouldn’t end well, but you didn’t know why? Well, that was your gut instinct, and it was a good one. Learn to listen to your gut – it very rarely serves you wrong. So I know you’ve already had a drink, and done some other things, and I know it feels really great right now. I also know I can’t change what happened (or is going to happen, from your perspective). So I’ll say enjoy it while you can. Enjoy it while it’s fun and have those memories that we treasure. The world is a confusing place; it’s a paradox and time is a funny thing – things can be both good and bad. But listen, when it gets too much, know there is hope. Know that this isn’t going to be forever, and you are going to be ok again, I promise. I promise you the madness it’s going to cause is not going to rule your whole life. And I promise you that one day you’ll actually be grateful for it, strange as that may seem.

But that’s a few years away yet anyhow. For now it might be more relevant to say that food isn’t the enemy and that you are allowed to take up space. You are allowed to exist and feel and show that you feel. I know right now a lot of your time is taken up thinking about food, and actually you don’t even think that’s a problem yet. Well, you’ll figure it out. There’s a lot of cycles and waves in this life, and you’re gonna ride every one of them out. And you’re not going to do it alone.

In a few months you’re going to meet this amazing person – she’s a bit crazy. I’d like to say thank you for trusting your gut instinct that first day you met her; the one that says ‘this person gets me’. She does. She’s going to help you. And that’s also going to unleash a whole load of other sh*t in your head because once you open the floodgates of emotion, it’s hard to close them. But you’re not going to be alone. Lean into the people who help you, even when it feels uncomfortable and you’re ashamed to do it, because one day you’re going to be able to show them it was worth it. You are going to meet like-minded, supportive people, and make true deep friendships. Loneliness isn’t going to go away completely, I doubt it ever does, but slowly you’re going to learn to make connections and redefine what that means for you. It’s a process we’re still going through – and we’ve come to appreciate it’s actually kind of a wonderful thing that learning is lifelong. You never stop growing.

I want you to know that I forgive you. I forgive you. All the unforgivable things that make you think there’s no point, the whirlwind of self-destructive hate that spirals out to others – I forgive you for all of it. You are doing the best you can. And one day you’re going to be able to do better. And in 5,10,15 years you’ll be able to do better again! So I not only forgive you, but I thank you for trying so damn hard to keep going when it all seems impossible.

If I could actually give this letter to you, the one thing I would probably most like to say is that you’re autistic. Surprise! You’re going to find out in about two years and it’s going to make a whole lot of sense and it’s going to change your life. It’s going to be a catalyst in helping you to understand yourself and learn to exist in this world. Because you’re not broken, you’re living in a world that wasn’t built for you. So when in a few months the whole world comes crashing in around you and you can’t be the perfect A* student you built your identity around (don’t worry, it’s actually a blessing to get to rebuild your sense of self and be able to do other things), know that you are allowed to express your needs. You are allowed to be tired and burnt out and unable to carry on at that level without support or understanding. You are allowed to take up space – I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again.

Ok, what else would you like to know? We’re still obsessed with Carrie Fisher. You were right, we do have a developing mood disorder. Also anxiety, a lot of it. Oh! You’re going to act! You’re going to see your dreams becoming reality and it’s going to feel even better after all this hurt because you’ll understand how precious it really is. You’re actually quite funny, and it wouldn’t hurt you to trust that you can lean into your comedy every now and then. You write a lot, including a lot of poetry (we like poetry now). You went around Europe on your own for 2 months at 17, just like we’d always dreamed! You run a mental health space, have been on a podcast, won an award. We’re still gay. So yeah, you’re ok. You’re not perfect, no one is, so it’s ok to stop chasing that idea of perfection. And you don’t need to do crazy, harmful things to gain other people’s approval and affection. Laughter is the key to making it through rough times – you have to be able to find life funny. Oh and also – not everyone can hear colour?? We were 15 by the time we realised that!

I love you, always, through all of it. You’ve got this, even when it feels like you don’t. And I’ll be waiting right here for you in a few years,

Love,

You.

autism, Personal Growth

Guide for Autistic Travellers

Posted on November 11, 2022November 10, 2022 by Millie :)

This summer I embarked on a two month solo trip around Europe as a female identifying autistic teenager – and it was wonderful. It was made even more wonderful by the fact that some of it was awful (I see the bad moments as adding more depth to the whole experience). So I thought that from my experience I would make a little guide to travelling for my fellow autistic people! Firstly a little disclaimer – this post is based on my experience travelling in Europe during the summer months; there may be information that does not apply to travelling at different times or different areas of the world. Also not every autistic person’s experience of the world will align with mine, so please find the information you find relevant and feel free to ignore the rest. With that being said, here’s my tips:

In London, ready to embark on the journey

Consider Your Companions

Personally, I find social interaction to be draining, especially when in unfamiliar situations. I am also pretty independent, so for me doing the majority of this trip on my own was the best option as it meant I could go at my own pace and organise my own days without having to balance that with someone else. However, I did have my moments of overwhelm and difficulties so it was really important that I had people (notably my parents and sponsor) on standby who I could call to help me in those moments.

There is a lot to think about when travelling and a lot of new environments to deal with. It’s worth considering whether you think you will be able to handle this on your own or whether you would get more out of the experience by having someone with you to help manage this. If you do need someone, remember that is totally acceptable! It’s about getting the best experience for you. However I would recommend thinking carefully about who you bring. It needs to be someone you are comfortable being around for long periods of time and who you are comfortable expressing emotions around (as there will almost certainly be emotional moments along the way).

If you are like me and think that you would prefer to travel alone, but also want to have some shared memories along the way, you could always invite a friend or family member to come and join you at one location. This is what I did and it worked really well. It meant I got to explore a few places with someone, but our time together was limited and we didn’t have to manage lots of travelling (and so scheduling) together. It made those experiences feel more special for me personally.

Do whatever feels right for you – but take some time to consider this in particular as it’s one of the most impactful parts of travelling.

Sensory Considerations

Something I underestimated before this trip was the variation of sensory experiences in different places. It is completely manageable, but it might have been helpful for me to be more aware of it before. Firstly, travelling in the summer months meant it was often really sunny. Before this trip I actually didn’t think I was an autistic person that was affected by light very much – but I soon realised I most definitely was (and that’s a really helpful thing to know now!). I think because I was in a new place, my sensory reactions were sometimes more sensitive, so that’s why I’m really glad I got a pair of good sunglasses before I went. I wore them everywhere and they made everything so much more pleasant. So I would recommend investing in a pair of good sunglasses (and if you wear prescription, possibly getting a back up pair) before going travelling.

Next up is smells – different cities have different smells. This was both very surprising and not surprising at all. I got more used to it as the trip progressed but in the first few cities it was definitely on my mind a lot. If you are someone that gets affected by smells I would recommend bringing some essential oils you like to smell or even getting a nose plug of some kind for travelling as it’s a part of new cities that can’t really be avoided.

Likewise, every city had different sounds. I had my airpods with me the whole time and had a podcast or music playing every time I was out and about to help me manage this. I actually spent a while beating myself up over this, thinking I wasn’t being ‘present’ enough simply because I couldn’t live up to the idea that in order to be present in a museum, for example, I had to stand there in silence while footsteps echoed around me. So my note here is for the autistic people who need controlled sound playing to engage with the world – that is totally ok! Whatever you need to make the most of your experience is totally ok! I also had my loop earplugs with me for when I wanted to take in some of the city noise but not be overwhelmed. This kind of earplug is really good because you can get different kinds to filter out different levels of sound to suit you. Considering bring ear defenders could also be really useful for dealing with sound.

Next for sensory issues is a bit of an odd one – pillows. I stayed in a lot of different hotels and hostels and I can say that without a doubt the thing that varies most between them all was their pillows. I had no idea this would affect me, but it did. So if you think different kinds, shapes and heights of pillows could be weird for you, please consider bringing your own. I packed really lightly but if I had to recommend one larger thing to bring it would be a pillow; even a blow up one that you are used to the feeling of.

Finally, consider the clothes you bring. I know personally I only really wear clothes that have a comfortable texture and feel for me. However when I was travelling I found it even more important than usual that I was wearing comfortable clothes, especially in the heat. I also found that with so much other information and choices in a day, choosing an outfit was much easier when the majority were variations of the same outfit. For example – I had four different tops that were all the same but different colours to match with four different pairs of cycling shorts that were all the same but different colours. I just found that really helpful.

Accommodation Choices

It’s really tempting while travelling to choose a shared room in a hostel because it’s the cheapest option, or because you feel like that’s what you should be doing for the ‘travelling experience’. This is your reminder to always, always choose what’s best for you and not what’s the easiest option or what you feel you’re meant to do. For the majority of my trip I had my own room and it was 100% the right option for me. I needed that space that I could retreat to and reflect in and not feel like I was ‘on’ all the time. I got single rooms in hotels, air b&b etc mainly because this was often a lot cheaper than getting a single room in a hostel. However if you want to also have the option of more social events and interaction then getting a single room in a hostel would be a great compromise if you’re someone like me that also needs their own space!

I did stay in hostels for a few nights, and I’m glad to have had that experience, but I found it much more draining so I’m also glad I didn’t do it for the whole trip, and had my own room immediately afterwards. It was 100% worth the little bit of extra money to have my own room. Whatever you decide I’d just recommend you look into it carefully, read all the reviews, and be clear on what you need.

Next up on my accomodation advice is to book in advance. It might sound fun being spontaneous and just booking in when you get somewhere, but if you are travelling in summer like I was this is not only expensive but can be nerve wracking when everywhere is sold out. If you have your accommodation booked in advance it’s just one less thing you have to think about at the time, which might not seem like a big deal right now, but when you’re faced with travel tiredness and some other issue to solve, it’s a huge relief to have the basics sorted. I used booking.com’s app for nearly all my bookings so they were all in one place and easy to sort through; plus it meant I only had to get used to one interface.

Finally, in terms of food – if you’re worried about the unpredictability of food at all then I would recommend finding places to stay that have facilities for you to make your own food. This also helps save money when you’re on a budget.

Where To Visit

Again, when choosing where to visit (both in terms of places and what to do in those places) don’t be swayed by what you feel you should be doing. I didn’t go to a single club or bar while travelling and I do not feel like I missed out at all, because I was happy with what I was doing.

In terms of places I personally found Venice very overwhelming in the summer with the large volume of people in small streets. Turin on the other hand was a beautiful, small Italian city that was quiet in the summer. Look into what kind of vibe you want and what places are like at particular times of the year (I much prefer visiting Rome in the winter for example). Guide books and the many travel blogs online will often be able to give you recommendations for quieter or less busy places to visit as well if too many people are overwhelming (Teufelsburg in Berlin was truly amazing). Basically – travelling is a personal thing. Make personal choices.

I found travel days to be the most draining, and although easier because it was planned, there was a level of getting used to each place once I arrived. If you think having to adjust to several different places in a short period would mean that you enjoyed them less, then consider staying in each place for more extended periods of time. That way you can settle in and explore each location at your own pace.

Finally, if you have a diagnosis and are in receipt of any official disability support (DSA, PIP etc) then take proof of this with you because loads of attractions give reduced or even free entry! I saved €70 in Barcelona in a single day so it really is worth it. You can also get someone else free with you at a lot of places! Disneyland in particular had amazing disability support for free – I got a pass that meant I could skip queues with up to 4 people and had my own place to stand for the parades. It really meant I could enjoy the day. But it’s not just big attractions like that – churches, museums, tours etc often have disability reductions.

General Advice

Bring a portable charger and keep it charged
Have emergency cash
Have a small across body bag to put valuables in
Get medical insurance – GET MEDICAL INSURANCE
There are shops everywhere – you can buy what you need, so don’t panic if you forget anything
Have key contacts and information written down, including your hotel addresses and a photocopy of your ID kept separate to the original
Print off a card with ‘i’m autistic’ in different languages if this makes you feel better
Have more underwear than you think you need
Bring a water bottle and remember to stay hydrated – it’s often the basic stuff we forget first
Take breaks if you need to and only do as much as you want to. You got this!!

If you have any questions or extra tips please let me know below! Love and support to you all xx

Advocacy, autism

Ugly Autism

Posted on August 21, 2021August 21, 2021 by Millie :)

As always when talking about autism, I want to remind everyone that autism is not a mental illness. It is a type of neurodivergency; this basically means as autistic people our brains think and process information differently to the ‘norm’ that is expected in the world. However autistic people are more likely to suffer with mental health issues, largely in part to the fact that we are living in a world that isn’t built for us. I’ve talked about an overview on autism acceptance before – which you can read here – but today I wanted to discuss the complexity of an autistic experience and how as more people get involved in autism acceptance and advocacy (which is an amazing thing that I am thrilled to see!) we must keep in mind the spectrum of experiences and therefore the complexity of the necessary solutions.

Sometimes my autism isn’t pretty. I can still fit into the world as I am expected to, but that comes with effort which often goes unseen or under-appreciated. I can do this reasonably easily compared to some, and this is in part due to other aspects of my identity (such as my race) and the supportive people who surround me. You can view this as lucky or not; I think in a way it is unfortunate. It’s unfortunate that I have to manipulate the very essence of the way I think in order to fit into systems I often have no desire to engage with in the first place. I think it’s unfortunate that we can even frame this as ‘lucky’ because that just points to how painful life is for those who can’t, and how this pain is worse than the struggle of concealing one’s true self. While I do frame my autism as my superpower sometimes, I do not believe in the rhetoric that it is a blessing – this also lends to the rhetoric that it could be a tragedy when in reality it just is what it is. I frame it as my superpower personally because that helps me cope with its challenges, and because being autistic is so central to my identity that embracing it in a society that often doesn’t is radically self loving for me. My mental health issues are not the same as me being autistic, but since autism affects how I process everything they are of course intertwined and I have no doubt that being autistic in a world that isn’t has been part of how bad my mental illness has gotten and how confusing it has been to understand. In particular I think my early experiences of mental health issues (before they developed into a clear mood disorder of their own) were heavily intertwined with my autistic experience.

So why am I telling you all this? To give you the smallest cross-section of just one person’s autistic experience, and the complexity of even trying to begin to comprehend that experience, so that you might begin to grasp how neurodivergency and the way it is approached by society is not something that can be easily defined or explained. And that is essentially the point of this post. There are more conversations happening around neurodivergency now then ever before – and that is a joyous and wonderful thing! But these conversations cannot be dulled down to a single Instagram post, or a single profile of autism – which threatens to be the most easily palatable representation of autism. Think of how mental health awareness is sometimes boiled down to self-care, bosses offering a free yoga class to their employees, and pity for the people who can’t socialise but can still just about get through a days work. This kind of awareness fails to recognise or help those suffering in ways that are uncomfortable for us to hear about, or impede how they might function in the systems they are expected to – it doesn’t help the person who has to take a year off work, nor the person who has to call an ambulance because they are convinced they’re dying, nor the person who lashes out at others with angry words because they can’t deal with their inner turmoil. I don’t want a similar pattern to happen as we see more autistic and neurodivergent awareness and representation. We can’t afford to ignore the messy parts of autism that might make some people a bit uncomfortable, or the fact that many neurodivergent people can’t (or don’t want to) participate in traditional capitalist structures that aren’t set up to support them. As there is more awareness, we must show the full array of autistic experiences – from all races, with comorbid mental health issues, different traits, physically disabled autistic people etc etc.

Autism and neurodivergency can’t become something trendy, like a new kind of personality test for CEOs to try and enhance their team and their diversity. They just need to become tolerated, known, understood. Because neurodivergency isn’t always palatable; sometimes it’s messy and it’s different and we have to make sure we don’t run the risk of autistic and adhd people who can more easily fit into the societal expectations (and who want to, because not everyone does) getting ahead and heralded as some liberal caring symbol for employers – for example, while others continue to be ignored.

Advocacy, autism, Personal Growth

Autism is My Superpower

Posted on February 14, 2021February 14, 2021 by Millie :)

I’m autistic. Having autism in a neurotypical world is not easy because generally the world isn’t built for us and proves to be confusing, but for anyone struggling with their diagnosis/ symptoms (and any neurotypicals unclear on the individual nature of autism) I want to make it clear that having autism isn’t a defect. Nor is it a mental illness. In fact, it can be a bonus in many situations, and when accommodated to autistic people can provide new perspectives and skills to the benefit of others. I, for one, like to think that my autism is my superpower, and this is my personal experience:

I learnt to ‘mask’ my autism – consciously learning how to act and react from other people’s behaviour; having to put effort into learning social rules that came naturally to others. Masking can be exhausting, so I know it’s essential that I take breaks and find time for myself, but like a superhero in a costume, it can also be powerful. How? Because my passion is theatre, and when I become the character I act out on stage, I am easily able to slip myself into their shoes – I know how they would behave and why. It comes effortless to me. The misconception is that autistic people are like robots and can only slot into certain careers. In reality we are varied like everyone else, and our uniqueness is incredible. We exist in every identity there is: every race, every gender, every sexuality, as parents and children. Our variety is often overlooked.

My increased sensory input is a key feature of my superpower. I observe more, hear more, taste more. This translates to a benefit in so many situations. You don’t know your train time? Don’t worry, I glanced at the board quickly and noticed it. You’re lost and don’t know the way back? Don’t worry, I spotted landmarks along the way, I know where we’re going. You’re trying to remember where you put your glasses? Never fear, I spotted them. And if we’re thinking about sound and music, my greater sensory input comes to my aid once again – that along with my ability to spot patterns as part of my autism, and my synaesthesia (which is far more prevalent among autistic people than the general population). When I hear a piece of music, it is alive to me. It is full of colour, I hear every layer of the rich instruments, and I can see the patterns the notes are forming. If I want to then play that piece on piano, I need only translate the pattern onto the keys – give me a bit of time and I can paint the picture I hear all by myself. This is my superpower.

Not to mention the fact that I am quite simply neurodivergent. I think experience the world in a way that is different to ‘the norm’, or rather the majority. Why is this a feature of my superpower? Because I can come up with new ideas and perspectives that may have been overlooked or not thought of at all. In certain situations this can become the way I overcome challenges or help others to do so; in the right combination my divergent thinking could be innovative. Us autistic people have a place in this society, no matter where our traits lie on the spectrum, and if we are accommodated we may even be able to offer solutions, certainly valuable contributions at the least.

Like a superhero may have an emblem, sign, or symbol, I have my stims. By stims I mean self stimulatory behaviour. Why is this so amazing? Well, it indicates to me how I am feeling (different stims, like tapping my fingers on my palm or twirling my ankle, correspond to different moods). Not only this, but should I start to feel an uncomfortable emotion, stimming freely can help calm me down. There’s a lot of people out there that don’t have something so simple in their toolbox, so this is powerful to me. It’s also such a pure form of expression, and can even help me release my creativity, tapping into my flow. Furthermore, my stims evolve over time – hitting my head morphed into covering my head and now I need only put on a hat to feel at home. How awesome is that?

This barely scratches the surface of my positive autistic experience, but I hope it has enlightened you. Autism is not a bad thing – quite the opposite. And the beautiful part of it is that no one autistic person’s experience is the same as another. We have a place in this world, and we’re not going anywhere, so the more that neurotypicals begin to understand and help us meet our needs, the more we can give.